About the pain Christ bore for you:

Luke 14:27 And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. (NIV)

To find the Light of Christ, you must fully understand He personally bore actual pain for you when He suffered and died on the cross for you. We can explain what He did. We can explain how He took all of your life to the cross. However, you must go beyond words of explanations. You must pray daily to see at least a glimpse of Christ's pain suffered for you on the cross. Until you see and in a vicarious way experience what Christ suffered for you on the cross, you will never fully know, never be fully enlightened, and never fully see Him. Christ sacrificed all of His love for you. He took all of your mistakes, burdens, hopes, dreams, sufferings, pains, worries, grief, beliefs, whims, sins, thoughts, words, and deeds to the cross. Christ sacrificed Himself so you could have a chance at immortality in Heaven with Him. In prayer, let Him show you His suffering. In prayer, let Him show you how He was tortured, maimed, beaten, flogged, and humiliated in ways beyond human understanding. All this was done for you. On the cross, Christ took you and your life into His heart. On the cross, Christ took your life into His life. On the cross, Christ took you into Himself and suffered and died for you. On the cross, your life became His life. Christ did all this for one reason�because He loves you. Let yourself imagine. Let yourself be willing to believe. Let yourself be touched by the world's most beautiful truth�He loves you.